August 18, 2012
The “Traps” - Replacing ‘Why’ Q’s with ‘How’ or ‘What’ Q’s

The core/thesis:  ’Why’ is never a proper question; replace with ‘how’ and/or ‘what’ question(s) instead. 

Change would be changing you/yourself first - always.

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Trap #1

The ‘Why’ trap

Makes you a victim of your environment and of others.

Asking ‘why’ in response to events, circumstances, and encounters with people.

Trap #2

The ‘Victim’ trap

Why do people react negatively?

Our reaction(s) to people or events cause the stress we feel.

Instead, the right question is:  What can I do to be more relate able?  or How can I set the example?

Trap #3

The ‘Change’ trap

Why do I have to change?!?

Instead, the question should be: How can I change to set the example for others?

You don’t have control over others; rather, you have influence over others.

"Get Over You University" -  serve and give first, be selfless.

Trap #4

The ‘Communication’ trap

Why don’t they tell me what’s wrong or what they want?!?

Rather, the way better question:  How can I take the time to learn them and their responses to things better?

Become a questioner instead of an orator.

- Observe, Ask, Listen without interruptions, & maintain eye contact

Trap #5

The ‘When’ trap

So, why are we going to … ?

Replace with this question:  What can I do to get a goal(s) and hit it/them?

What example(s) am I setting?   What goals can we set together?

Trap #6

The ‘Who’ trap

Who’s responsible for that?  

- Blaming

- Finger pointing

Way better:  What can I, or we, do about it?

Accepting responsibility for anything on my watch is the mark of a leader.

A huge lesson to learn & apply > If it isn’t your fault, you give away all power to fix it/do something right.

Trap #7

The ‘They’ trap

Why aren’t they helping me (more) ?!?

What do I need to do to take leadership from me forward?  It all starts with me; learning & growing myself is the crux. 

  • Setting the example.
  • Being an encourager.
  • Be the inspiration.

Consistently, happily, joyfully drive forward :)

We don’t tend to grow up ‘attitudinally’ enhanced.

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Credit for the content in this blog post goes to Mr & Mr. Larry VanBuskirk; they co-recorded an audio that taught this material, and I felt it so important and impactful, I am proud to share it here in the blogosphere. Blessings!

  1. thisrascallovesfreedom posted this